I don't know why i choose the title named "I Wonder Why" but somehow, i saw this words on one of my friend post. So on, i commented "i wonder how, i wonder why, i wonder where they are", a song of westlife, if i not mistaken, the song name "My Love".
Today i have just a simple flashback. (writen at 25 March 2012)
By the way, when i asked myself "i Wonder Why", its really make sense of i wonder why i still staying in this world. Then i keep on surfing the facebook and saw pastor Jaeson Ma post; "But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me. (1 Corinthians 15:10 NIV)" so its really by God grace, im and i have to keep on living in the world no matter what is happening, time move every second, world turning every second from morning to night and night to morning.
Secondly, i wonder why i said the lyrics of this song and suddenly it felt like my ex name pop-up in my mind out of somewhere. i wonder why; perhaps i have really put all my love and effort in it even i know i shall not love her as for different religious problem that might cause us to argument in the future. But the fact is, she have many chaser, somehow she chosen and accepted me for i doesn'e really know why as for i'm not the great guy well then i used more then a year to let go of her. Perhaps its was just a new test for me in my life. While, when i think about this, this video flash into my head and this few verse in the bible:-
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
john 15:13
Romans 5 : 8
its all about love In God
(this video came out of my mind somewhere when i writing about love)
hmm, somehow, that third thing that appear in my mind after saw Pastor Philip Mantofa post this "In good times and bad times, praise the Lord!" or "Dalam suka dan duka, pujilah Tuhan!". Have a flashback on few day ago, bad things happen to me, people missunderstand my words, perhaps friends judge on me but still, i give thanks to God without thinking of what that happen, just think this is God's will that this thing happen for a reason that i might not know. In Matthew 7:1 "Judge not, that ye be not judged." from this verses, i really receive that who am I to judge you and who are you to judge before God judge me as well i think about this verse when i watched a movie name "to save a life". Who are we actually to judge other when we could not judge who are we? so no matter good or bad, suka or duka, i give the praise and prayer to the Lord.
So on, yesterday (writen at 26 march 2012) i take my took out my bible (wow, full of dust) and turn and turn all the pages and verses that i have marked before this. Its seem like i have not be a real christian for such a long period, for all the time i had, i only use the installed bible application in my phone. Many christian now starting to use smart phone or java phone to turn on they bible but for me, i really felt guilty for not turn the bible that were in book version.
Today, perhaps a tomorrow, it was 27 of March when i writing this (wow, i used three day to update this blog post, seem to be a lot for me to write,huh?) i was wondering why so hard for me to search the bible and im wonder why bible are not like a dictionary, follow by alphabet, just keep on search for the first word but than, the bible gonna be like; perhaps 2 dictionary?hmm, no idea but somehow, its was more effective if we would keep the words of God in our mind rather than think it will be easy as finding abc in a dictionary.
somehow as well, as it seem like i wonder why i said a lot of somehow that i assume it just a wondering as well; in our life, there are just too much of wonder such as i wonder why i came to this horrible world, i wonder why we must make a decision, i wonder why we must have a lot of trouble in our life that sometimes wondering why are making our life seem negative in our thinking; by research, its shown that Our right brain are the centre of creativity while our left brain are centre of reason and logic;
why cant all the logic, reason and creativity make our life bright and positive and start not to ask why, just give thanks on everything we do no matter good or bad like what pastor Philip Mantofa said; its just too much of wondering why we must somehow figure out something even its just s small matter or perhaps not that important but when we look back to our previous life, we shall not ask ourself one question; "i wonder why i still keep walking in the world" because no one can do back and start a new beginning, but everyone can start a new day to be end with a new ending or perhaps a new beginning for other day.
Below came came into my mind when i writing this
i think this is my last thing to said, "i wonder why i used 3 days to update a blog" but i hope that reader outside could understand my poor english, somehow, live in a life that not wondering why anymore. May God bless and peace be upon all the reader.
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