just figuring out sometimes

Thursday, March 29, 2012 at 10:30 PM Posted by Jeremiah Jr Chai 0 Comments

27 of March 2012
Today will be going to Wesley Methodist church with my utar cf members. They went to myfamily shop for a dinner and, lol, they don’t know that was my family shop; so on, we have a great gathering actually, fun of the icebreaking with some drawing like draw something but with BLINKFOLDED, so how can we see? But its fun, I really enjoy it with the members. Somehow today they asked me about the cf camp and so on they have collected my registration form and I think it by God’s grace that wanted me to go to join them even I not really a part of this utar family. Happy for it even in my mind, there is something different about it that I doesn’t really know what it is, perhaps someday I will figure it out?
28 of March 2012
Somehow, today God has spoken to me
Today I want to church at fga Kampar, watched a movie named…erm~~Grace forget what ed…mostly this movie is talk about grace and by grace, things were happen in the way that people cant think or predict off; but somehow, this verse came into my mind James 4:6 “But the grace that God gives even stronger. As the scripture says, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble”” and Ephesians 2:5 “that while we were spiritually dead in our disobedience he brought us to life with Christ. It is by God’s grace that you have been saved” and because of God’s grace, we shall not be proud as we were saved as we shall be humble to receive this grace and share this grace card to other as God’s grace is not proud, is humble to be given to everyone that trust in HIM.

29 of March 2012
Being a Christian is really not easy as other Christian gonna judge u for who u really and actually are as Christian are human too; so that, they have the human behavior. This actually is normal but as Christian, we have the holy spirit within us that the fruit of the spirits shall be in our heart, our mind and as well as our soul. Sound racist or offending Christian? No, I will not said that im a Christian if I doesn’t look like one infront of you. It remind me of something about the movie I watched yesterday, as well as the post I written before, whom am I to judge as I, myself are not a faithful servant of God. But its all about grace that we as Christian, we had been chosen by God to be saved. We shall hold on our grace, and also hold on the fruit of the spirits; peace, love, joy, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, patience, goodness and self-control. I doesn’t put the blame on you for everything you did but I will rather put the blame on myself for not being a good friend for you ; and that is not a kindness and gentleness or goodness, but its love because love is selfless, not selfish, I care about you as friend and because of no reason, I will be willing to put the blame on myself as a sinner. As sometimes, there are just things that meant to be happen without reason just like death.


Special post; somehow, today I like lost the self-control when there are something bad happen that I felt really very bad and hurt and perhaps some of it know about what happen and well, perhaps there are even some of it know the real things that happen about everything including the “different feeling” in my 27 march post? I’m not really sure about it but somehow, I have spent 3 days for writing a lot of silly and nonsense thing, I think. So reader can give some comment even u are hater of me, offender or any view, I don’t mind, it’s a public, I’m happy to get all the comment. May God bless and keep all the words in my and perhaps other person mind.

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I Wonder Why

Monday, March 26, 2012 at 10:18 PM Posted by Jeremiah Jr Chai 0 Comments

I don't know why i choose the title named "I Wonder Why" but somehow, i saw this words on one of my friend post. So on, i commented "i wonder how, i wonder why, i wonder where they are", a song of westlife, if i not mistaken, the song name "My Love".

Today i have just a simple flashback. (writen at 25 March 2012)

By the way, when i asked myself "i Wonder Why", its really make sense of i wonder why i still staying in this world. Then i keep on surfing the facebook and saw pastor Jaeson Ma post; "But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me. (1 Corinthians 15:10 NIV)" so its really by God grace, im and i have to keep on living in the world no matter what is happening, time move every second, world turning every second from morning to night and night to morning.

Secondly, i wonder why i said the lyrics of this song and suddenly it felt like my ex name pop-up in my mind out of somewhere. i wonder why; perhaps i have really put all my love and effort in it even i know i shall not love her as for different religious problem that might cause us to argument in the future. But the fact is, she have many chaser, somehow she chosen and accepted me for i doesn'e really know why as for i'm not the great guy well then i used more then a year to let go of her. Perhaps its was just a new test for me in my life. While, when i think about this, this video flash into my head and this few verse in the bible:-

  • 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
  • john 15:13
  • Romans 5 : 8

its all about love In God
(this video came out of my mind somewhere when i writing about love)



hmm, somehow, that third thing that appear in my mind after saw Pastor Philip Mantofa post this "In good times and bad times, praise the Lord!" or "Dalam suka dan duka, pujilah Tuhan!". Have a flashback on few day ago, bad things happen to me, people missunderstand my words, perhaps friends judge on me but still, i give thanks to God without thinking of what that happen, just think this is God's will that this thing happen for a reason that i might not know. In Matthew 7:1 "Judge not, that ye be not judged." from this verses, i really receive that who am I to judge you and who are you to judge before God judge me as well i think about this verse when i watched a movie name "to save a life". Who are we actually to judge other when we could not judge who are we? so no matter good or bad, suka or duka, i give the praise and prayer to the Lord.

So on, yesterday (writen at 26 march 2012) i take my took out my bible (wow, full of dust) and turn and turn all the pages and verses that i have marked before this. Its seem like i have not be a real christian for such a long period, for all the time i had, i only use the installed bible application in my phone. Many christian now starting to use smart phone or java phone to turn on they bible but for me, i really felt guilty for not turn the bible that were in book version.


Today, perhaps a tomorrow, it was 27 of March when i writing this (wow, i used three day to update this blog post, seem to be a lot for me to write,huh?) i was wondering why so hard for me to search the bible and im wonder why bible are not like a dictionary, follow by alphabet, just keep on search for the first word but than, the bible gonna be like; perhaps 2 dictionary?hmm, no idea but somehow, its was more effective if we would keep the words of God in our mind rather than think it will be easy as finding abc in a dictionary.


somehow as well, as it seem like i wonder why i said a lot of somehow that i assume it just a wondering as well; in our life, there are just too much of wonder such as i wonder why i came to this horrible world, i wonder why we must make a decision, i wonder why we must have a lot of trouble in our life that sometimes wondering why are making our life seem negative in our thinking; by research, its shown that Our right brain are the centre of creativity while our left brain are centre of reason and logic;

why cant all the logic, reason and creativity make our life bright and positive and start not to ask why, just give thanks on everything we do no matter good or bad like what pastor  Philip Mantofa said; its just too much of wondering why we must somehow figure out something even its just s small matter or perhaps not that important but when we look back to our previous life, we shall not ask ourself one question; "i wonder why i still keep walking in the world" because no one can do back and start a new beginning, but everyone can start a new day to be end with a new ending or perhaps a new beginning for other day.

 Below came came into my mind when i writing this 

i think this is my last thing to said, "i wonder why i used 3 days to update a blog" but i hope that reader outside could understand my poor english, somehow, live in a life that not wondering why anymore. May God bless and peace be upon all the reader. 

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yesterday is just the day, today is just the different

Friday, March 23, 2012 at 10:13 AM Posted by Jeremiah Jr Chai 0 Comments

22 march 2012
This night, i have on my facebook and dont know why, i wrote something like "when others got problem, i could help them and understand them but how about opposite side???when i got problem, who wil come to me and understand me???ask this to yourself and u will discover who ur fren really is....." but actually i not having any problem, i just dont know why i have this feel to write so.. and so on, suddenly pop out some comment that think of im having trouble...perhaps by God's will, that person just appear somehow with people and somehow i were be given  the chance to be a listener and the whole night i tries to help with everything i can but does it really help, im not really sure.. for the whole nite, i have a lot of chat with this person somehow with problem and laughter..its kind of glad that i have help or perhaps she have came for me to help...not really sure =) as time pass by every second, i were just keep trying to give good advice and convince but then it does not feel like what i normally do or said....time pass and im tired, have a sweet night of sleep and told that i will be with her again the next day...

P.S: doesn't meet this person but somehow; we have a great chat..

23 march 2012
today was tiring wake up and gosh..every turn bad, feel like many problem gonna happen....bad thing keep happen from time i take til the time i goes out..but i said to my self that everything is alright, pray to the God and be blessed..today im having presentation and i have done all the preparation and thanks God, my presentation goes on well and have a lunch with my pastor at ipoh parade but everything doesn't really work out well...well then, today have another conversation with the special someone, somehow, it seem like changes plan and til night time, all plan have been change but i don't really know what the someone want actually..and then i get a message from my oversea friend and get a message of she seem like too stress so as friend, advice again...back to the point, at night time, me and the someone just~~ERM, stranger???~~na, just like nothing to chat..but hmm, the someone smowhow just "hmmm" a lot today but someone i not really encourage for what that gonna happen la...for safety infromation, i think that think too much is just over think but not overcome...should be time to overcome somehow...well, it just all the miss and miss and miss stuff it was all mention today, somehow~~perhaps i shall retried my army back before i continue with something not the the God's Will~~im happy to help but i will never know does it help...help is by critical thinking and planning, just like a war to win =)

P.S: does not really know what im writing but one thing i know it, its just goona worth for a moment all this stuff...based on what happen in life cycle everyday =) give my life to save a life~~

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